How to Build Self-Confidence

Hey everyone! As I am sure many of you are aware, I am all about confidence and self-love. That is, after all, what my blog is centered around. I did not just create this blog for myself though; I created it for other women like me. For the women who are trying to gain confidence in themselves. For the women who are working on loving themselves unconditionally. I created this blog to stand with you, and to let you know that I understand exactly how you are feeling. Today, I wanted to share my best tips on how to build self-confidence.

I feel as if I have been on this self-love journey for so long now, that at times it can get really frustrating. I say this all the time, but I am not where I want to be in life just yet. I still struggle with confidence and I still struggle with self-doubt. I have grown so much in recent years, and I have gained quite a bit of confidence in myself, despite the struggle. I am proud that I was never the kind of person to pretend to be anyone other than myself. I always stayed true to who I was and what I wanted, even if that meant that I didn’t fit in. This still rings true today.

Part of me felt that it wasn’t right to share these tips with you all because I am not the most confident person out there. But then I thought, if I am feeling this way, there is bound to be other women who do too. Plus, these tips that I am sharing with you today have definitely helped me gained confidence in myself, so I hope that this helps you too!

My tips:

• Be prepared

One thing that always brings me a bit of confidence is being prepared for anything. Since I am a college student, this is a tip that I have learned in the past few years. Sometimes, you need to be ahead of the game. For me, this means getting my school work done and being productive. If that means going over something the day before class, I do it because I know that by taking the time to look over a reading or do an assignment, I will know exactly what my professor is talking about. I like to know what’s going on, and I like having a plan. This is just a personal example. Find what that is for you, and stay on top of it! Whether you are studying for your driver’s test or you are getting ready for an important interview, being prepared will always bring you confidence and calm your nerves.

• Compliment yourself daily

Self-affirmations are a great way to start your day. You do not necessarily have to believe the positive things you tell yourself, but you should! I try to do this every day because it makes me feel confident. It may seem a bit silly to look at yourself in the mirror and say “you’re beautiful” or “You’re strong”, but I am telling you that it works! Embrace the awkwardness and show yourself some love. Soon enough, you are going to believe the words that you are saying.

• Get out of your comfort zone

This is something I tend to struggle with a lot, however I’ve been doing this more often lately. I am the kind of person who enjoys routine and planning things out. I find comfort in a daily routine, and getting out of it can be challenging for me. Well, I recently went above and beyond with this tip, and I was able to go on my dream trip to France! This was a huge step for me, and it brought me confidence as well as independence. Although I wasn’t alone, I did go with a group of girls from school who I did not know too well. I ended up having an amazing time and I learned that sometimes getting out of your comfort zone can be the best thing for you. This is a big example, but there are smaller things that you can do in your everyday life that will lead you to a similar result. Do the things that scare you. If it is going to help you grow in positive ways, take the risk.

• Self-care

I always feel my best when I take care of myself. I like to take some time to pamper myself, and keep up with my appearance. Although I know that looks aren’t everything, it does make me feel more confident when I look presentable. I also enjoy dressing up and doing my makeup and hair. I’ve noticed that when I am wearing an outfit that I love and feel comfortable in, that is when I feel most confident. I know that everyone is different, and not every girl likes to get glammed up. If this is not your style, I would suggest wearing what you want to wear. Whatever you feel best in, wear it. I do not look at the word “self-care” and think that it only applies to appearances. I work really hard on taking care of my heart and mind as well. Take care of yourself all around. It makes a world of a difference.

• Surround yourself with good people

This is easier said than done, I know. I feel lucky that I have an incredible and loving family to fall back on. They are my everything, and I am so grateful that I have the relationship with them that I do. I am aware that not everyone has this though. I always struggled to make friends, so I never had very many, but right now, I know that the ones I do have are true. As long as you remain true to who you are, you will attract the right people, however, there is a good chance that you will attract the wrong people too. Be careful and be aware of who you surround yourself with. Some people will only get close to you to use you, to hurt you, or to bring you down.  Trust me, you don’t want or need people like that in your life. Cut the ties, and find people who truly love you, support you, and care for you. And remember to be that person for them as well.

• Work toward your goals and passions

This is something that I have been working very hard on, and I have to say, not only does it make me feel confident, but it makes me happy. Creating this blog was one of the biggest steps that I have taken that is helping me reach my goals. Since I love to write, I now get to do it often, all while helping others, and nothing makes me happier. If you take some time to think about your goals and what you want in life, you can start working toward those goals right now. There is no reason you have to wait around. Go after what you want in life, and even with the setbacks, please keep going. If you are passionate about something, and if you believe in yourself, you can reach your goals. And don’t forget to celebrate your victories, no matter how small!

• Envision the person you are trying to become (essentially, fake it til’ you make it)

As I have learned, gaining confidence can take a long time. It also takes a lot of work. Even if you aren’t 100% confident in yourself, it is ok to act like you are. There is a difference between confidence and cockiness or arrogance. No one is better than anyone else. Just try to imagine the person you are trying to become, and work every day to get there. This does not mean copying anyone else’s lifestyle or comparing yourself to anyone else. While it is great to be inspired by others, I simply mean that you should strive to be YOUR best self. When I imagine the woman I am becoming, I see that she is strong, confident, and kind. While I would describe myself with these words right now, I know there is always room for improvement.

• One last tip from my momma: There is no deadline

I was recently speaking to my mother about confidence, and how I wish I was further along on this journey. What she told me is something that I think everyone should hear. I told her that I was worried about never reaching that point of being 100% confident in myself. I was worried that I would not be able to have the things I want in life if I am not confident in who I am. She reminded me that there is no deadline, and that people have their dreams come true at different points in their lives, and there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, by taking your time and working on you, the right things will come to you at the right time. She said that life may seem long right now, but it is actually really short. And lastly, she reminded me that it isn’t about the destination, it is about the journey.

I know that this may seem overwhelming, but we would all be much better off if we gained more self-confidence. Know that it takes time, but you will get there eventually. I haven’t given up hope, and I hope you don’t either. I am right there with you. Thank you so much for reading!